“Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married” by Gary Chapman
“This is not a book simply to be read. It is a book to be experienced. The material lends itself to heart-felt discussions by dating or engaged couples. To jump-start the exchanges, each short chapter includes insightful “Talking it Over” questions and suggestions. And, the book includes information on interactive websites as well as books that will enhance the couples experience.
Dr. Chapman even includes a thought-provoking appendix. By understanding and balancing the five key aspects of life, dating couples can experience a healthy dating relationship. A revealing learning exercise for dating couples is included at the end. “
Gina’s Thoughts (My SIL read this book)
Gary Chapman’s “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married” was created to be a helpful tool for any dating or engaged couple in preparation for a successful and lifelong marriage. He honestly and openly shares about his own struggles in the early part of his marriage as well as those of people he has met with in counselling. Compiled into short chapters are the issues that most frequently arise in the early years of marriage. Though many couples believe that they will be in love forever, the “tingly” and excited feelings that are there at the beginning will eventually wear off. They wonder what happened and if they made a mistake in getting married. Chapman states that if couples discuss some key issues before marriage, they will not be surprised at these issues arising later. These issues include traditions, family values, personalities, religion, sexual intimacy and money. He also reminds us of the 5 Love Languages, which he discusses in other books, which help couples recognize how to show love to each other. He also includes questions at the end of each chapter for couples to discuss with one another.
This book can also be read by single people, to get insight in to what they might look for in a future spouse. Knowing themselves and what traits they would not be compatible with would be great preparation for developing a serious relationship.
Married couples can also gain insight from this book, to find ways they can better love and understand one another. It is helpful to know that the common disagreements they face are common for most couples and can be worked though with communication and understanding.
The book is most applicable to seriously dating couples or engaged couples so that they can deal with important issues before they are married that would otherwise arise later. If the couple discovers that they cannot move forward after finding issues they cannot resolve, this allows for them to get out of the relationship before they are committed through marriage. If they can work through them, they have built a firm foundation that will keep them from thinking, as Gary Chapman did, “I wish I would have known this before getting married.”
* Disclaimer / Disclosure: I received a free book from Moody Publishers to facilitate my review. This post reflects my honest, personal opinion and experience which may differ from yours. Product information courtesy of the sponsor. No monetary compensation was provided for this post.